A Letter from Uncle Ben

(Here it is: after some convincing, a break from our regularly scheduled program to bring you a letter from your most independent uncle. His personality—which  comes out strongly in his writing—may be a reflection of how you will turn out as I had a hand in Uncle Ben’s up rearing, particularly in the pivotal teenage-early adulthood years. Take heed to what he has to say; I am so very proud of him, and his advice shows that—although it may take you a while to get there—the wisdom of the student can surpass the teacher…)

Dear infant hominid,

I am one of two uncles on your mother’s side. I currently live in Colorado and have no aspirations of ever returning to the east coast, which in turn destines us to be distant geographically speaking. That bleak outcome does not preclude me from impacting your life and is rather benign as it relates to our future relationship and especially mine and your mothers. Given that you’ve hit the proverbial ‘jack-pot’ in the parental lottery, I’m sure this minor inconvenience will not at all be detrimental in your growth and development as you strive to become an exceptional member of society. Therefore, what I will seek to provide you with is the very best of me. A man of faults I am still equipped with some useful traits and wisdom that I will endeavor to make you the beneficiary of. I will teach you how to shoot a basketball, how to shoot a gun, and eventually… how to shoot whiskey. Before we reach those milestones (and because this is my letter and I’m writing it my way) I will give you three traits of character I find most vital in becoming a decent human being: knowledge, strength, and humility.

Knowledge. I’ve found nothing else to be truer than the old adage ‘knowledge is power’. It enlightens the mind and allows us to transcend what we ever thought was possible (the combustion engine, human flight, space exploration to name a few). It is the combatant of ignorance. But what is the recipe for knowledge? In my opinion, open mindedness and objectivity. Never purport that you are the smartest person in the room (see humility below) or that you have nothing to learn from someone. Knowledge can be gained in many places, some strange and unlikely, for those who are constantly seeking it. Have an open mind to learn from every experience, every mistake, and every problem you encounter on your path to adulthood. And don’t stop there. Until you die you will never not have something to learn; always be mindful of that.

Strength. This can come in many forms but I’m mainly speaking to mental strength. You will never be judged by the number of times you’ve been pushed down (literally and metaphorically) but by the equal number of times you’ve gotten back up. Have the fortitude to understand that there is no such thing a problem without a solution. In fear of beginning to sound too cliché I will give you an example. Your other uncle (my brother) endured many hardships, growing up with failing kidneys since the day he was brought into this world. For him, every day was a perpetual test of mental strength and endurance as he never had the luxury of enjoying a “normal” childhood. When you meet him, and every single time after that, it will not be without a smile on his face. I recall joking around with him moments before he went under the knife to receive his new kidney (from your grandmother by the way). His stoicism was admirable. Even in his most trying hour he remained steadfast – I think we all can learn a valuable lesson from him. No situation is helpless; and face every mental test smiling with the knowledge that you’re strong enough to come out on the other side better off.

Humility. The universe is very big (incomprehensibly so) and you started from a single cell. As I write this in 2016 from everything we can tell we are alone in this vast cosmos. In short, life is precious. All life. It must be respected and treated as such. With every bit of success achieved in life always remember how small you are (though small organisms can achieve big things). There are many ways in which success can be measured but to me the ultimate way is to measure in the company you keep and the company that keeps you. Before you are even born you are already loved by many. As you grow and prosper do not forget all of those that helped you along the way and shaped you into the person you will eventually become.

That’s all the advice I can give you before you’re even brought into this world. You’re going to have to figure out the rest on your own, but always remember you have an incredible support network should you stray. And before I sign off I’ll give a word on each of them (at least in your immediate family on your mother’s side). Grandpa Steve – he has nine lives and he’s used up 10 of them so you’re going to have to go easy on him; Grandma Tracy (though I think we’re all hoping for ‘Mami 2’) – she’s got a heart of gold and will always be a go to for moral support; uncle Eli – he’s quick with a joke and good for a laugh but may never be entirely trusted, so proceed with caution; your mother – she’s the embodiment of all the characteristics mentioned above but she is a horrible driver, go with dad. If you want to know about me you’re just going to have to come see for yourself. I like to remain a mystery. Can’t wait to meet you.

Love,

Uncle Ben

(Uncle Ben's email said: "Here you go. Now you owe me a bestselling novel." We intend to write a science fiction novel together. Make sure this happens in my lifetime, Baby Girl.)

(Also, Marielle, I'm coming after a letter from you next. And as always, anyone else is welcome to write one).