Trimester the Third

Dear Baby Girl,

We have entered the oh-my-God-you-are-coming-so-soon-and-I-lie-awake-at-night-thinking-of-random-things phase. Okay, that’s a lie. I mostly lie awake in early hours of the morning thinking of random things. It is 6AM on a Sunday right now because I get up in the morning incredibly ambitious and ready to achieve lots of things and then crash about three hours later because I wear myself out. Your father says I’m like a puppy who does not know how to regulate my energy. It’s true, but normally I’m in go-mode all the time and the whole “getting tired” thing is really throwing a wrench into it. If only I allowed myself to drink coffee.

So… TEN WEEKS TO GO! I remember when you were only 10 weeks old (I guess by normal age convention you have never been 10 weeks old, but you get what I’m saying), and the size of a kumquat. You’re now a whopping THIRTY weeks old and “about the size of a large cabbage” (according to my pregnancy app…which also happens to claim you are 16” long... which is the largest cabbage I have ever seen). You are kicking pretty much all day (but not to a painful degree), and your father felt you kick for the first time this weekend. It scared him a little, but he is really getting excited. He talks about you a lot, and we are so close to picking your name. We have it narrowed down to two choices that we are both very happy with. The second will likely be reserved in case you ever have a sister.

Our doctor appointments are every two weeks now, which I love because I’ve been an insane worry wart and the more frequent visits give me more comfort. The last one at 28 weeks you were measuring in the 55^th percentile, which is perfect. We had our baby shower (which I will write about shortly), and I have all kinds of great things for you! Yesterday, Dad and I went to the outlets and I went a little crazy with your wardrobe. I got mostly practical things, but please keep me away from Ralph Lauren Kids. I definitely bought some impractical outfits there. Hopefully you like wearing dresses, and can keep it together long enough for me to take a picture. We may have to do an outfit photo shoot every day of your first year of being in the world.

Again, I have to say that your nursery looks great. Everything I add to it makes it better. I just ordered a rocking chair and a pillow for it that I probably didn’tneed but really kind of do because it’s awesome. Once we figure out your name (which has to be soon) I’m going to order some lettering to hang on the wall above your crib. Today, my plan is to tackle washing this myriad of clothing I just bought, and there are a couple of dishes I want to make and freeze for your arrival. I’d like to get in the habit of freezing at least one thing every weekend until you get here, but we’ll see. Again, my ambition sometimes exceeds my level of energy.

One last thing I’ll say: the winter that you came into existence set records in terms of snow. The summer prior to you being born is now setting records in terms of temperature. I believe it got up to 102 degrees yesterday (we haven’t breached triple digits since 2012, and the all-time high is 106 degrees). What a time to be pregnant! 75% of the way there, we’ll see you soon Baby Girl!

Love,

Mom

I didn't totally think when I started taking pictures in this outfit that it would become a belly shirt,
but now I am committed, and the outfit stays.

My favorite picture of your bedroom so far,
Those pictures will likely go on the wall as that is your changing table.

Here it is, your baby bathtub!
Emily (your friend Olivia's mom) bought you an infant bathtub that fits perfectly to a tee in this sink.
You are surely going to love bath time!

All the Pregnant Ladies

From Left: Nina (who you may remember from a prior post), ME, and Molly.

Dear Baby Girl,

For some reason, 2016 is the year to have babies if you are in Investments and Capital Markets. In a predominantly male dominated profession—and on a predominantly male dominated trading floor—three of the few women are pregnant simultaneously. In fact, we are each spaced out by almost two months exactly (Nina’s mother in law made the comment that it must have been a long, hard winter). Anyway, this is great news for you, as you will have at least two playmates here. The other two girls are having boys, and growing up with boys sounds about on par with my childhood, so I’m confident you will hold your own (but if you’re concerned one of my best friends from high school just had a baby girl yesterday).

I organized this little photo shoot to try and time it so that Nina was far enough along to have a solid bump, but prior losing Molly to labor. We cut it pretty close. She’s ready to pop. Every time she’s not at her desk I think, “Oh my God. Is it go-time?” So as not to waste a single day of paid maternity leave pre-baby, we are all planning on working basically until our water breaks. We’ll see how that goes. None of us really wants that to happen at our desks. We definitely looked ridiculous all three walking together to our photo shoot. The background is the newly renovated trading floor, which isn’t quite finished, so we had a solid setting where prying eyes and judgement could be avoided.

I’m fairly confident that such a photo opportunity as three pregnant ladies has never happened in capital markets, and Lord knows when it will happen again, so I’m glad we seized the opportunity. After a bit of photoshopping I sent a blast message to a select few in the division titled, “Something in the Water.”

Love,

Mom

Belly bump!

A Letter from Uncle Ben

(Here it is: after some convincing, a break from our regularly scheduled program to bring you a letter from your most independent uncle. His personality—which  comes out strongly in his writing—may be a reflection of how you will turn out as I had a hand in Uncle Ben’s up rearing, particularly in the pivotal teenage-early adulthood years. Take heed to what he has to say; I am so very proud of him, and his advice shows that—although it may take you a while to get there—the wisdom of the student can surpass the teacher…)

Dear infant hominid,

I am one of two uncles on your mother’s side. I currently live in Colorado and have no aspirations of ever returning to the east coast, which in turn destines us to be distant geographically speaking. That bleak outcome does not preclude me from impacting your life and is rather benign as it relates to our future relationship and especially mine and your mothers. Given that you’ve hit the proverbial ‘jack-pot’ in the parental lottery, I’m sure this minor inconvenience will not at all be detrimental in your growth and development as you strive to become an exceptional member of society. Therefore, what I will seek to provide you with is the very best of me. A man of faults I am still equipped with some useful traits and wisdom that I will endeavor to make you the beneficiary of. I will teach you how to shoot a basketball, how to shoot a gun, and eventually… how to shoot whiskey. Before we reach those milestones (and because this is my letter and I’m writing it my way) I will give you three traits of character I find most vital in becoming a decent human being: knowledge, strength, and humility.

Knowledge. I’ve found nothing else to be truer than the old adage ‘knowledge is power’. It enlightens the mind and allows us to transcend what we ever thought was possible (the combustion engine, human flight, space exploration to name a few). It is the combatant of ignorance. But what is the recipe for knowledge? In my opinion, open mindedness and objectivity. Never purport that you are the smartest person in the room (see humility below) or that you have nothing to learn from someone. Knowledge can be gained in many places, some strange and unlikely, for those who are constantly seeking it. Have an open mind to learn from every experience, every mistake, and every problem you encounter on your path to adulthood. And don’t stop there. Until you die you will never not have something to learn; always be mindful of that.

Strength. This can come in many forms but I’m mainly speaking to mental strength. You will never be judged by the number of times you’ve been pushed down (literally and metaphorically) but by the equal number of times you’ve gotten back up. Have the fortitude to understand that there is no such thing a problem without a solution. In fear of beginning to sound too cliché I will give you an example. Your other uncle (my brother) endured many hardships, growing up with failing kidneys since the day he was brought into this world. For him, every day was a perpetual test of mental strength and endurance as he never had the luxury of enjoying a “normal” childhood. When you meet him, and every single time after that, it will not be without a smile on his face. I recall joking around with him moments before he went under the knife to receive his new kidney (from your grandmother by the way). His stoicism was admirable. Even in his most trying hour he remained steadfast – I think we all can learn a valuable lesson from him. No situation is helpless; and face every mental test smiling with the knowledge that you’re strong enough to come out on the other side better off.

Humility. The universe is very big (incomprehensibly so) and you started from a single cell. As I write this in 2016 from everything we can tell we are alone in this vast cosmos. In short, life is precious. All life. It must be respected and treated as such. With every bit of success achieved in life always remember how small you are (though small organisms can achieve big things). There are many ways in which success can be measured but to me the ultimate way is to measure in the company you keep and the company that keeps you. Before you are even born you are already loved by many. As you grow and prosper do not forget all of those that helped you along the way and shaped you into the person you will eventually become.

That’s all the advice I can give you before you’re even brought into this world. You’re going to have to figure out the rest on your own, but always remember you have an incredible support network should you stray. And before I sign off I’ll give a word on each of them (at least in your immediate family on your mother’s side). Grandpa Steve – he has nine lives and he’s used up 10 of them so you’re going to have to go easy on him; Grandma Tracy (though I think we’re all hoping for ‘Mami 2’) – she’s got a heart of gold and will always be a go to for moral support; uncle Eli – he’s quick with a joke and good for a laugh but may never be entirely trusted, so proceed with caution; your mother – she’s the embodiment of all the characteristics mentioned above but she is a horrible driver, go with dad. If you want to know about me you’re just going to have to come see for yourself. I like to remain a mystery. Can’t wait to meet you.

Love,

Uncle Ben

(Uncle Ben's email said: "Here you go. Now you owe me a bestselling novel." We intend to write a science fiction novel together. Make sure this happens in my lifetime, Baby Girl.)

(Also, Marielle, I'm coming after a letter from you next. And as always, anyone else is welcome to write one).