Dear Baby,
I have to stray from chronology for a brief moment here
because I believe today marks some sort of pregnancy milestone: my number of
weeks pregnant has reached double digits. That means you’ve been in there for
ten weeks… 25% of the entire gestation period! That is mind-blowing, as I have
felt very little effects of your presence other than having to pee an obnoxious
amount of times in twenty-four hours.
Anyway, I have a “pregnancy app” on my iPhone to help me keep
track of all of the goings-on in there while I can’t see you. It is sort of
like my advent calendar for your birth. Every day it gives me a new tidbit of
advice or explanation for what might be happening to me and you on that specific
day. It is the very first thing I look at when I wake up every morning, and I never allow myself to cheat and look
ahead. That way each day is a new, surprising adventure.
The greatest days of the week for this activity are
Thursdays. Since you are due on a Thursday (September 29), each Thursday
officially marks a “week gained.” The pregnancy app gives a detailed explanation
as to what you look like and gives me a frame of reference by comparing you (in
size) to some sort of item of produce.
Now for this week—a very special week—week 10—I went on my
pregnancy app (which is the “Baby Center” app, if inquiring minds wish to know)
and read my little update. This stuck with me all day: “Although barely the
size of a kumquat, your baby now has completed the most critical portion of
development.”
My reaction: WTF is a kumquat?
[Side note: If you are not yet old enough to be familiar with
the “WTF “ slang, it means “What the fudge?”]
The mystery of the kumquat puzzled me periodically
throughout the day until I finally got around to cranking up the google
machine. Wikipedia (again, the source of information for our time) enlightened
me. As I scrolled down the various scientific classifications, binomial names,
and synonyms, I noticed that it had an “alternative Chinese name.” Interesting.
Naturally, I abandoned the internet and turned my curiosity to
my friend and coworker hailing from China. Since the general office population
does not yet know about you, I had to be coy. So I sent her a text message. This
was our conversation:
So there you have it. A kumquat.
At this point I felt satisfied. Nina had given me a complete
and detailed explanation. However, Nina is nothing if not thorough. Five
minutes later she sets this on my desk:
With scarce resources consisting only of office supplies,
she has created a to-scale model of a kumquat, adding facial features to make
it… more baby-like? I suppose? I get a kick out of this, and then say to her “I
like that you colored it pink.” Five minutes later, she produces a second kumquat:
Again, nothing if not thorough, as we do not yet know your gender.
I get such a kick out of this whole ordeal that Nina decides
she is going to now produce a weekly to-scale model of the produce referencing
your size. I can’t wait to see what she comes up with at 38 weeks. That will certainly
require some true office supply ingenuity.
Nina is someone who I hope will be a part of your life,
along with any future children she may have. This girl is the girl who got your
DAD to go to CHINA. Can you picture Dad in China? Well he did it, and I have
pictures to prove it. In fact, he was quite popular over there with his brawny
figure and Jason Statham hairline.
Nina and I started work together right after college and
have been working together for nearly a decade. Yes, I was already working for
almost a decade before you were born. Time is crazy. She has enlightened me on many things, and now
she has enlightened me about a kumquat.
The alternative produce comparison is shown at the bottom of
this blog—a prune. And I can’t have my baby being compared to a prune. Kumquat it is.
Love,
Mom
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